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I flew to Australia again, searching King's Canyon to see if the Church had returned. I found no trace of them. I have searched the other hiding places I had discovered last year, when I feared Raven was being held here, somewhere, needing rescue.

But they are not there, just as she had not been there.

I fear I must speak to Hugomyen about him taking Luum somewhere safe until this threat has been dealt with. The Church of Blood will not hesitate to attack here ... perhaps he can stay with Richard and Barbara, or I could petition the League for them to stay at the Watchtower if need be. I will not let them be harmed. No blood of theirs will be shed. X'hal bear witness to my words.

I should do as Victor suggested and review the mission logs. The Warlords of Okaara would be ashamed of me. "The battle begins before the first soldier steps onto the field," they would remind me.

NO!

She is no one's servant or slave. Let this "Dream-king" show his face again and I will teach him what it means to anger a scion of the House of And'r.

Luum's first word

He said it! He looked at me and said, "Selya"!
Mar'i Grayson.

Mar'i Saldja Grayson. Brother to Luum Simon, daughter of (another) Koriand'r and Richard. Nightstar. I have observed her in flight, in peace and in battle. She fought well against the demons, letting her rage drive her starbolts to their targets.

So peculiar, to see hair that color with Tamaranian eyes!

She should stay here. She would make a fine Titan. Yet, I saw how she looked yesterday when she left the memorial hall with Dick. She may choose her father. She flinches when she looks at me, sometimes. Little wonder. She is seeing a woman who is dead.

Can I bear it, if she does not wish to live with a dead woman?

I can't get back to sleep

Nightmares again, with Raven again, and a strange girl who looks like a younger sister, if I had had one ... only her hair is black. Black is an uncommon color among my people. Perhaps this is my dreaming mind's way of telling me that Raven has been like a sister to me?

So much has happened since last week. The younger Titans discovered that the house they were invited to was a death trap, but they escaped and Isabel Bristol is in prison. There has been no sign of this Brentwood, though, which bothers me. I do not like enemies wandering around.

Oracle called earlier today and told us that Wally has been suspended from the JLA and please let us know if he comes here for help. They think Poison Ivy may have bent his mind. If she has, I will kill her myself, no matter what Dick will think of me afterwards.

Pah. I cannot sleep. I am in no mood to relieve Garfield in the monitor room. I need to fly, and fly and fly, until I am myself again.

Troubled nights

Hugo had a nightmare last night, and not for the first time. He woke up screaming, and it took me a while to soothe the pounding of his heart. He said he'd dreamed that he was forced to choose between me and Luum, and his parents and friends from his home Earth, followed by bloody death for those he loved.

Luum awakened a few minutes later, crying, though he may have simply been hungry. Certainly he slept again after he nursed.

I hope tonight they will both sleep better, even if I am not there. But now I must relieve Garfield in the monitor room and take my watch.

Wally is still gone

Not even the Batman has found him. I have searched where I can, when I can leave Luum with Hugo. But nothing. I am no detective, true, but a warrior learns more than how to swing a sword or fire a gun. I have found nothing.

No sign of Wally. No sign of Raven.

I miss my old friends. I love being with Victor and Garfield, working with the younger Titans, but I miss the days of the old Tower. Dick, Roy, Raven, and Donna most of all.

Joyous news!

Nightwing is to be a father! Oracle is carrying his child! This is wonderful! They will be such loving parents--and their child will be bold and strong, I am sure, as they are.

Poor Oracle, though, will have to be pregnant for a very long time. Cyborg explained again to me that she will not give birth until September. That is dreadful, to have to wait to so long to see the flowering of your love. But I am sure they will be happy to see their child, as I was happy to see Luum, even though the circumstances were not what I would have wished.

Hmm. Luum and their child will be very close in age. I hope they will be good friends. Perhaps their child will be a Titan, too. If it is a daughter, Hugomyen and I could speak with Oracle and Nightwing about our houses uniting in our children. That would please me greatly, to be law-kin to those I trust and love.

X'hal give me strength

Wally is missing! I have flown everywhere looking for him, even though Oracle told me he was nowhere to be found. I have seen nothing. No sign of him.

No ... he cannot be gone. We have lost Donna; must we lose Wally as well? He may be with the JLA now but always and forever he is also our brother-in-arms and fellow Titan.

Diana is coming to visit. Perhaps in her wisdom she may suggest a course of action.

A new year

It has been some time since I wrote in this, but between caring for Luum, spending time with Hugomyen, and my continuing training, I have not had much time for reflection.

The president's threatened visit--and I cannot help but see it as a threat--looms before us. We have not been told when he will arrive, which does not please me, as I wish for Hugo and Luum to be safely away, but there is nothing to do but hope that luck is with us.

There is also this invitation for the younger Titans. The appointed time draws nigh, and while we have learned nothing to make me truly wary of this woman, this Isabel Bristol, I cannot help but wonder what larger game she is playing. Humans are so fond of smiling as they lie. As Hugo quoted to me, "That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain!"

Whatever traps lie behind her smile, I hope they will face them bravely.